Sunday, May 31, 2009

Working out on a Sunday afternoon

Me being silly!

I consider working in my yard to be an actual work out. To go with the work out theme, I put on my workout gear to go with the lawn mowing, weeding and bush trimming. It was warm, a bit cloudy this afternoon, but it was good to get outside and do something productive, i.e. yard work. I put down 5 APs for the yard work. I hate trying to figure out the pointage of such activity. I don't eat my APs anyway, but I like to keep track.
Anyway, it seems like I spend my weekend taming our grass and bushes. We live in a housing development and HOAs can be a bit crazy about maintenance and upkeeping of your yard and property. I don't mind keeping the yard looking good and putting in effort to make it decent.

The toddler was very cute! She got up in the rockery area and did a little dance/pose. It was a fun day and nice to spend time with the family.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

It's getting hot in here....

OMG! I love the warm 77 F degree weather we are having (BTW: I live in the Seattle area, so this is not common). I just had to tell someone! It is supposed to be nice the rest of the week. Got my fingers crossed!

The body is frustrating

Well, since I started eating after the two weeks of being sick, I have put on 6lbs! WTH!! Ugh! I know that it was because I had the flu and I'm starting to eat more and move, but it is just frustrating to see the scale go up that much. The woman who weighed me in at Weight Watchers said "Oh, it looks like you had fun last week." I told her, "No. I did as I've always done - followed the program." It sort of ticked me off because if the gain was from a whole week of binging, I would totally understand the gain and her comment would have been justified. I would have been like, yeah, yeah, I went nuts last week. However, since I was just eating healthy, journaling and exercising...just frustrating!

We on the west coast finally have Oroweat Sandwich Thins, which are the Arnold Sandwich Thins on the east coast. Yippee! I picked up the Multigrain ones, so I may give them a try tonight.

Next weekend is the Susan G. Komen 5K (June 7th). I'm really excited about it and it is a race I look foward to every year. I used to do the race when I lived in San Diego. I used to do it when I weighed 370lbs, even though it was hard and took me forever to finish. It is for a good cause and I always get teared up seeing all the pink t-shirts and the memorial ceremony.

Okay, well I hope this week the weight starts to come back off. This up-down-up-down is crazy. I need to focus more on my inches than on the scale. The scale can really mess with your head. I need to step away!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Stir Crazy

I had to get out yesterday. I was getting stir crazy, so the toddler and I went for a walk around Green Lake. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm. Lots of folks where out walking their dogs and it helped to relax me a bit. I have been on edge lately. I think the biggest reason is because I'm not working, which is driving me nuts, in a sense. I want to be working and it's frustrating that I'm not. I know I am driving the husband crazy too.

I'm trying not to use food to deal with my feelings of frustration. It could be PMS combo which isn't good! Sometimes I just want to scream. I had chocolate last night (4 Pt Microwave cake you can find the recipe for here) because I just needed sugar and some chocolate. I am trying to make healthier choices, but sometimes you just need some sugar and chocolate.

Anyway, today I'm waiting on Sears to service our stove, between the hours of 1-5??? WTH is that? So, I gotta sit around for 4 hours waiting and hoping they show. Thank God for warranties though!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Back in the Saddle

Okay, it has been a rough couple of weeks. With the toddler, hubby and I being sick, it was hard to do any blogging or blog reading. Yesterday, I was going to finally sit down and do a blog post and catch up on blog reading; however, our internet and phone were both out for some reason. Verizon came this morning to figure out things and got it up and running.

At WW yesterday, I finally got my 75 lb award. When I got it last week, for some reason the leader (who was a sub) didn't give it to me. So yesterday, I asked my leader for my 75 lb award and she gave it to me. She apologized for the other sub leader that we had. Now I have 4 key ring charms - the 25, 50 and 75 lb - along with the 16 week award & the 10% key ring award. I have lost a total of 125 lbs! It feels so good!

My leader was very excited for my loss because she was subing for the previous leader when I signed up for WW last July. She became our leader in December and I love her. She is awesome and straightforward. I didn't feel comfortable with our previous leader and the subs we have had aren't as great as her. I guess I'm just biased but I am so happy that I have found a leader I really like who motivates me to do the program.

This morning the hubby, toddler and I worked in the yard. It was great. I mowed, while the hubby used the weed eater. The toddler was helping pull weeds in the flower beds. So, we did all of this after the Verizon guy left around 9:30 am. For about an hour and 1/2 we worked in the yard. It is so nice and sunny and it was good that we did the yard work before the sun got too hot.

After the yard and lunch (turkey burger w/ baked potato), we walked around the neighborhood and took the toddler to 2 neighborhood parks. Now that we are back, it is down time. I'm hoping to get the toddler to take a nap. We shall see.

I hope that everyone had a good week! I hope that we all have an even better week this week. I am praying for good weather. Now that I can walk/jog without wanting to barf a lung, I want to get out this week, enjoy the weather and get activity in! I'm looking forward to it.

BTW, I didn't hear anything about the job. If I didn't get the chance for a 2nd interview, I really wish they will let me know. I hate going to an interview and never hearing anything back. It sucks!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Much Better

Okay, I'm feeling much, much better. I feel that I got the sleep that I needed over the past week. The family is better too. I will try and ease into some activity, but I don't want to overdo it with doing something that will start me to hacking again.

I lost 7.4 lbs at WW on Saturday, which is just crazy! I know it was because of the flu and mostly water weight. I just didn't have an appetite really all week and just started to eat all my daily points again yeterday. It is something how illness will just knock you out. Its hard when I'm wanting to be healthier and my health gives out on me. Now, I just got to get back in the swing of things.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sickness from Hell

The family and I have been sick with the flu all week long. The hubby is feeling better and the toddler and I are showing signs of improvement, but it has been a very hard week. I hate being sick and having us all sick is just frustrating. I haven't been able to type a proper blog post, because I just want to go lay down.

I hope to hear about the job interview next week. I hope they call me in for a second interview. I pray that I am over this soon before I do have to go interview again. Okay, off to lay down again.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Down for the count

I had my interview today and it went well. I should hopefully hear if I will have a second interview the end of next week. I'm really excited about the job and it is a new oppportunity for me to do something different. The thing that I didn't like about today is that we (hubby, toddler and I) are coming down with the flu. It sucks! After the interview, I just came home and crashed. We are all pitiful. I hate being sick and with us all being sick, its tough because I cannot recoup like I need to. Ugh! Okay, off to bed.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mother's Day Weekend

I cannot believe it is the middle of May and Memorial Day is creeping up on us. I lost at my meeting today, 2.8 lbs, which is basically part of what I had gained last week. Crazy! This up-down-up-down is ridiculous.

Anyway, right after the meeting, I came home and started getting a migraine. For those that have migraines, you know the signs. I was feeling fine and then the auras started! Ugh!! I took my migraine medicine and then my HBP pill (just in case it was my BP causing it). I took my BP and it was a bit elevated. I need to start checking my BP more often. I stopped taking it everyday, but recenlty I haven't been as religious as I should with taking my BP medication. I pray for the day I don't have to take it anymore.

The aura has lessened but the pain is starting, but not as bad as it could of been if I didn't take my meds right after it started. The weather is going to be really nice today and I don't want to miss out, so I hope that the migraine doesn't stick around. to lay down for a bit. Have a great Mother's Day Weekend!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Love the Farmer's Market

I love, love the Yakima Fruit Market & Nursery near my house. I got so many great veggies at reasonable prices. Asparagus is in season and I got 2 huge bunches to roast in the oven. I got zucchini, yellow squash, grapes, carrots, tangelos, honeydew melon, english cucumber, red peppers, onions, sweet potatoes, yams, and d'anjou pears. There was also a locally created black bean salsa I bought that looked really good. I'm looking forward to trying it. The pears are awesome!

My advice, is check out your local farmer's market for fresh produce. The prices are a little cheaper than the supermarket. Seriously! However, you can always comparison shop to make sure. I also like the idea of supporting the local farmers in the area. WA state farming is huge and there are tons of farms in Eastern and Western Washington and in Oregon growing all kinds of produce, not just apples. I'm all about giving support when you get great product at a reasonable price.

Weight Loss Extremes

Last night I finally got to watch a Biggest Loser from Tuesday. I am so happy that Helen and Tara are kicking butt. Watching that episode and looking at the extremes the contestants go to to lose weight made me think about things I have done in the past to lose weight.

Tara is a lot like mewhen I lost substantial weight (about 60 lbs) the first time 20 years ago. You are either on one end of the spectrum, where you just eat anything you want, not caring about the consequences or the other extreme, where exercise rules and eating less is the only thing on your mind. That was me almost 20 years ago. It was short lived, mind you, but I could never figure out a balance. Sometimes I still struggle, because I've never been "normal".

When I was 16, I lost weight by not eating, purging, and extreme exercising. My mother thought I was doing such a great job. I talked a little bit about my mother's thoughts on my weight here. Until this day, she still brings up the fact that I looked really good during that time. When I look at pictures of me during that time, I just see a sad and hungry person.

My lowest was 135 lbs and because I was not eating healthy (or eating at all), I had no problem packing on the pounds once I started eating again. I realize my first attempt was an extreme. I thought what I was doing was the only way to lose weight. I was being ruled by extremes during that time:

(1) The scale ruled my life.
(2) Pressure from my mom & family in general to lose weight in order to be successful.
(3) Wanting just to look good and wear "regular" clothes from the stores my friends shopped.
(4) Didn't think what I was doing was unhealthy.
(5) My only goal was to be thinner by any means necessary.

Then I went from one extreme, to another. I started packing on the weight as soon as I hit my lowest weight. Over the years, I didn't try weight loss anymore. I felt like a failure. I attempted weight loss several years ago. I reviewed my old WW membership book and saw that 308.5 was my starting weight in September 2002. I lost 45 lbs, but gave up during a plateau and gained it all back plus 60+ pounds.

This time is different. I feel it in my head and I have been educating myself about exercise and nutrition. This time I am doing it for me and I'm not ruled by an extreme. I use the scale to measure, but it doesn't dictate my life or mood. I haven't told my mom about my weight loss, for reasons you can read about in the other entry. She just isn't helpful or supportive. I don't need that right now.

My goal is to not be thin, but be healthy and feel good physically and emotionally. I want to be a runner. I want to be active. I want to be a great role model for my child. Maybe that is an extreme, but its a healthier one.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Progress Pictures

I put a slideshow at the end of my blog. These are a few of my progress pictures that I posted on Blog to Lose.

What to wear?

I was freaking out yesterday because I didn't have anything to wear to my interview. All my interview suits are a size 24 or 28 and are way too big now. Before, I was to the point that I couldn't fit into those size 24 suits and at my highest, I had to purchase a size 30 suit that I hated but was the only thing that fit me. I got rid of that suit, as soon as it was too big. I need to give my other suits away, preferrably to an organization More closet cleaning! :-)

So I searched through my closet, praying that I had something. Voila! I found a suit that I think I only wore once years ago. It is a size 20! Thank the heavens! I didn't want to spend or have the extra cash to purchase something new to wear. I took it to the dry cleaner to get it all ready for my interview next week. I wondered why I kept that suit? Maybe as inspiration to get the weight down? I forgot I even had it. My smaller clothes had gotten pushed back into my closet, collecting dust. It was too depressing to look at them anymore because I had gotten so big. Thank goodness I held on to some of them in hopes of wearing them again. They are coming in handy.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Interview and other musings....

Yes! I have a job interview next week!! Whoooo! Hoooo!!! Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers!

I am doing good this week. I'm totally OP and exercising, eventhough it is mostly indoor activities. We had such horrible weather last night that I was woken by the wind and rain pouring down. We didn't lose power, but I guess there were other areas that were hard hit by falling trees and power outages.

I'm just so giddy about my interview. I applied for it, thinking that I didn't have a chance. It is a great opportunity, with great pay and benefits. I think that it would be a good career move for me. I'm so looking forward to it. I really, really, want the job.

With my weight loss, I'm feeling more confident too. Before when I was in the 300's, I felt that I would go on interviews and totally be overlooked because I was obese, even though I was qualified for the job. One job interview in particular, several years ago, I totally believe that was the reason I was overlooked for the job. It was so discouraging.

I had found a job, but I felt that I wasn't taken seriously because of my weight. "Normal" size people have these beliefs that obese people are lazy and don't want to work, which is totally bogus. It's hard fighting against discrimination, especially when it because of your size. If it is race, gender, or disability - at least there are laws against those types of discrimation (even though it still occurs in our society). With fat discrimination, you have no ammo.

Anyway, I've gotta put the toddler down for her nappy time. Hope everyone is well!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Weight Loss Role Models?

There are so many great bloggers in the blogging world when it comes to weight loss and maintenance. However, it is sad for me to see bloggers "fall off the wagon". There are those blogs that "go black" or never get updated anymore and you know that they have either thrown in the towel or something else has happened in their life that caused them to cease blogging. It's sad to see and I just hope that they just don't have time to blog anymore andd are continuing their healthy lifestyle.  

The reason I'm bringing this up is because recently, I have had to remove blogs from my favorites that I had normally read. It has been months since these blogs were updated; one was coming up to a year.

We all have a tendency gain and lose weight for various reasons and for some of us, we have gained and lost the same 10, 20, 30, 40 + pounds over and over for years. There are bloggers that have been honest about regaining weight they lost. That is hard to do, but it is commendable. They are human and it has happened to the best of us, with the best intentions. I like the honest blogger, one that says "Yeah, I have fubbed up, but I'm getting back on track" or those that come out and state that"Weight loss isn't a priority anymore."  That's their prerogative.  I know that as people develop new habits, their lives change and progress, but be honest to yourself and your readers.  If you gain, so what.  If you are still losing, that's great too.  

I do hope these bloggers come back.  One blogger had lost over 135lbs.  She was such an inspiration to me and was one of the reasons I started blogging.  Then one day she just stopped. I often wonder what happened.  I sent an email a few months ago to the blogger, with words of encouragement and how its good to have support during a hard time.  I never heard back.  I probably never will. 

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sunday, a non-exciting Sunday

Nothing much happened today. Just stayed on point and did 65 minutes on the treadmill. I mostly walk and jog in intervals. It feels good and I am noticing my knees and ankles don't hurt like they used to. I signed up and got a year subscription to Runner's World magazine. I'm not a "runner" yet, but it's coming...

I bought a copy of the magazine a month ago when Kara Goucher on the cover (May 2009 issue) and there s an article in there by Lisa Delaney who is the author of Secrets of a Former Fat Girl (good book by the way). She talked about running the NY City Marathon, which was her first marathon (26.2 miles). She had transformed herself from being 70 lbs overweight to a marathon runner. She started running a 1/2 mile at a time, but eventually lost weight and built up her endurance. That's what I'm in the process of doing. I ran 2 - 3 min intervals, where I ran for 2 @ 5.2 mph and walked for 3 @ 4 mph. I did this for 60 mintues and did a 5 minute cool down. I try not to say I can't do somthing, until I try. I usually end up surprising myself. I'll switch it up next time, where I will run for 3 and walk for 2 and keep working it.

My left knee feels a bit sore, but it always gives me trouble because of it carrying excess weight for so long. I'll rest it for the rest of the night and see how it feels in the morning. I feel energized after my exercise though! I should sleep good tonight.

Also, I have been without my computer for a week. It went to HP under out extended warranty plan. It should be back tomorrow. It sucks being without my computer. I'm using my hubby's but it isn't the same. All my stuff (documents, resume, links, etc.) are on my computer....but backed up on an external. I just can't wait to get it back.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Up, Up, Up

Yeap, I'm up 3.6 lbs this week. I knew it was going to be up and actually it is a little less than I thought. It is so freaking frustrating. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now but watch what I eat and make sure I get all my water and exercise this week. I was so close to a 75lb loss at Weight Watchers, but I'll get there eventually.

In the meeting today we talked about good vs. bad carbs and making sure that we are eating calories that are actually doing something for our bodies, instead of "empty calories". I also think that as an overweight person, my body handles the types of foods that I am eating differently. Yeah, it take 3500 extra calories for a pound, but for some reason I think that it may be different for a person who has been really obese, like I was (or still am). It may take less calories? Or, food in general is processed differently, causing weight gain when particular types of foods are eaten? I don't know if that is true, but it doesn't make sense to me that in one week I lose a lot and then the next week, I almost gain it all back....and I did the same amount of exercise and ate the same amount of points. Maybe that is the problem? I don't know.

Anyway, the weather is sucky today but I still need to do something outdoors. My allergies are killing me, even though I'm taking medication, and there is yellow pollen all over my car. Spring and I have a love/hate relationship. I love the flowers, the warmer weather, and the start up to Summer. However, it is allergy season for me and it just sucks. :-)

Friday, May 1, 2009


Why do I eat Teriyaki Chicken from a restaurant, knowing that it will bloat me up 3-4 lbs AND it takes about a week before my body recovers? Why? Ugh!

Anyway, things are going well (other than the Teriyaki incident) and I have been out with the toddler enjoying the weather by doing jog-walking. Its going well and I am feeling stronger and not as winded when I jog. I am taking it easy though, because I know that my knees and ankles have experienced lots of stress because of my weight.

I have weigh in tomorrow and I will definitely see a gain. At least I know and I'm okay with it.