HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Happy Halloween everyone! I'm getting ready for all the kiddies! We had a baby boom in our neighborhood several years ago and we ran out of candy last year. I'm ready for the little ghouls, goblins and vampires this year!

Stuck!

A gain today of 2.2 lbs this week...I could blame it on TOM, but seriously, it can't all be TOM. I wish I was bingeing and overeating, not exercising and sitting on my ass! I wish it was because I was eating through a bag of Halloween candy or fast food! I wish I wasn't tracking! At least, those things would explain why I've been stuck, losing and gaining the same 5 lbs over and over! It is really pissing me off and is so disappointing! I just want an explanation! I need a reason, but in the "world of weight loss" there may not be one (at least for my body). That is hard for me to deal with.

I still have so much weight to lose, and there is no way that my body can be comfortable at this weight! If the problem is medical, hormonal or something entirely different, I want to know what it is and figure it out. I've been stuck for almost 6 months now and it is really frustrating.

I cannot let it get me down though!! There is no way in hell I'm throwing in the towel. The past me would have given up 5 months ago. The new me knows that it will pay off, it's the when that is indeterminate.

In all honesty, I feel better knowing that I'm taking care of myself by eating healthy and exercising. I just wish the scale would reflect it.

Trying A New Green

I love Kale and have eaten since I was a kid. It is a "southern thing", at least where I was from, to eat greens (collards, mustard, turnip, and kale) religiously. Today, I tried a different kale called Lacinato Kale. It is actually really pretty. Very deep green, with long, strong leaves. Since I love kale, I wanted to give them a try.



I cleaned it, chopped it and used the recipe found at New Roots Organic.



Let's just say they were pretty tasty, with a splash of balsamic vinegar.



I also went to the gym today and did 1 and half hours of cardio (elliptical, bike, stairclimber combo). Came home and ate lunch, hung out with the little one, tried to see if she would nap (that was a no go!!). Anyway, now I am chilling, drinking a small glass of red wine, will the hubby listens to jazz.

Check Her Out!

I love weight loss success stories. I find such inspiration in reading and seeing them, because it reminds me that I can do it! When someone like me, who has struggled with their weight, obtains weight loss by exercising and diet changes, it reminds me that it is possible to reach my goal.

So, check out Julie! She was on Rachel Ray yesterday. You can watch her story here.

Check Out My Booty!

Haa! Haa! Not that booty! ;-)

I got tons of fresh veggies and fruit from the farmer's market near my home today. I got Washington State apples, both Honeycrisp and Cameo, that look like they were just pulled off the tree. They were dusty/dirty, instead of having that nice waxy film you see in the grocery store.



The box was quite heavy and I got it all for under $35 dollars.



I got:
Butternut Squash
Cameo Apples
Honeycrisp apples
Kale
Spinach
Corn
Acorn Squash
Brussels Sprouts
Celery
Sweet Potatoes
Zucchini
Lemons
Dill

There is probably more stuff, but I can't think of them right now. Everything, but the lemons and celery were locally or Washington grown, so I felt good supporting local farms. I loved that the Brussels Sprouts where still on the stalk!

Okay, off to watch The Biggest Loser!

Pumpkin Muffins

I came across a Pumpkin Muffin Recipe that I found on the blog Simply Savor. Because I'm doing Weight Watchers, I can plug in recipes online at weightwatchers.com and it gives me a points value per serving. For a 1 serving (12 muffins total), they came out to 3 points each. I made some changes, by using sugar-free maple syrup to save some calories. I love the fact that a 15 oz. can of pumpkin is 2 points. You could leave out the chocolate chips and it will be 2 points per muffin, but I find that everything tastes better with chocolate! ;-)

You can find my recipe for the pumpkin muffins created in the Weight Watchers Recipe Builder here: Whole Wheat Pumpkin Muffins. The hubby loved them and gave them rave reviews. However, the kid, she's not interested. :-) I try!

Rain, Rain Go Away

It has been a really rainy today (of course, being in the Pacific Northwest its a common occurrence), but I needed to exercise. I went to the gym for 1.5 hours and did the elliptical and stationary bike. Afterwards, I was a bit hungry and tried a shake that I received from the folks at Mix 1.



I was reading one of the many articles out there are about how important it is to eat or drink something with protein and some carbs after working out. I asked the people at Mix 1 to send me a sample and I was surprised to see they sent me quite a few.



I decided to carry one with me to the gym and had it in the car on the way home. Usually when I work out for a long time, I get a bit hungry and I want something healthy to eat or drink. I don't want to ruin all my hard work by grabbing something unhealthy. I usually eat a piece of fruit, so it was nice to have something different.

These shakes will be great for recovery, a possible meal replacement, or just a snack. The Mix 1 Mix Berry Protein I had after the gym is 200 calories, 15 grams of protein, 2.5 grams of fat, and 3 grams fiber (4 Weight Watchers Points). They do have a 115 calorie Hi-Oxidant Fiber one that comes out to 2 Weight Watchers Points. If it tastes as good as the protein shake (which I give 2 thumbs up), it will be a great snack to throw in my bag on the run.

I saw them at Fred Meyer and they are about $2.00 each, but they were having a sale 2 for $3.00. So, for the price, it isn't bad compared to the other shakes and drinks.

Saturday hiking with the family

The family and I had a nice hike today. It was overcast and around 50 degrees F, but we bundled up and decided to do some of the trails on Tiger Mountain. It was a great hike and we got about 3 miles done. I want to go to the summit one day, but I will have to leave the little one at home. She isn't ready for the 6.2 mile round trip walk yet. However, it will be nice to one day do that with her when she is older.

There were lots of folks that had the same idea we did and folks were out walking the trails. Some were even those "hard core" hikers with huge packs. I guess some of the trails can be used for practice for longer hikes. The trails vary with intensity and terrain, which I like.

The kid got tired towards the end, but she held up pretty well. She asked when we were going to do it again. I think we have another hiking lover!

Mysteries

Had my Weight Watchers meeting today and I gained .6 lbs. It's frustrating, especially when I had no change last week, but that's okay. My leader said that I need to treat it as a mystery that needs solving.

What am I doing, if anything, that I can change? Am I eating the same calories at the same time, everyday? Do I need to change up the foods I'm eating? Do I need more exercise? Am I drinking enough water? Am I eating enough fruits and veggies? Too many carbs or not enough carbs?

These are questions I've been asking myself over and over again to get my weight loss jump started again. It seems that my body knows how to maintain, but I want to start losing again. Eventually, I'll figure it out.

Doing It In Real Time

Watching The Biggest Loser tonight, I realize that I have such an advantage over those folks who are on the show. I am losing weight and working towards a healthier lifestyle while at home living my life. Some of the folks on the Blue and Black team were talking about how they didn't want to go home because they couldn't do "it" at home. Eventually, these folks are going to have to go home. They are going to have to learn to lose or maintain weight at home living their lives.

The Biggest Loser is just a show, a small blip in the lives of the contestants and they are going to have to adapt and learn to live healthier lives at home if they want to keep the weight off. There are many previous contestants that are back where they started. It is sad see, but weight loss is very hard and maintenance is hard. Building a good, solid foundation is very important. As my Weight Watchers leader said this week, being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard and maintenance is hard. You have to chose which of those hard tasks you want to tackle and live with.

I think that it would be hard to go from a show where they are getting the "cliff notes" version of healthier living. They have Jillian and Bob to kick their asses in the gym. They have a fridge stocked with healthy food, so they aren't worried about fitting in grocery shopping and cooking with all the other life stuff going on that need to be done at home.

Things have to change within a family unit to have a healthier lifestyle. It is so freaking hard! It isn't easy people, especially when those around you (i.e. my hubby) want to continue to eat junk food. My husband understands that I want to lose weight and get healthy. He sees the changes in my body, but he hasn't come to that place yet for himself. He continues to eat junk and bring it into the house. It is hard to walk away, although I have gotten to the point where it doesn't affect me like it used to. Not to say that I don't have temptations, but I want to reach my goal more than I want a Reese's Cup, or ice cream, or Dorito's.

I think it is possibly sabotage. He has mentioned (sort of in a joking fashion) that he is afraid that I will get to my goal weight and will be more attractive to men, and therefore I will leave him for another man. It's crazy! Not only am I dealing with my insecurities and my changing body, but I am dealing with his insecurities as well. I have told him and tried to reassure him, but it is on him. I cannot make him feel better. I can only work on me.

I'm losing weight for me. Not for my husband and not for my daughter, although they reap the benefits in the long run by having a healthier spouse and mom. I feel better, I'm less tired and I'm more active.

As for other stuff in my life, I'm still job hunting! Ugh! I hate it! I applied to a job today and this company has been looking for a person to fill the position for over a year. I applied last year for it, but they decided to not interview me. So, for over a year they've continued to look and keep posting the job for a year+. I decided to reapply again today and I get a lovely Dear Jane letter, saying that they are pursuing other candidates. Yeah, right! Whatever! My friend thinks there are some "issues" going on in the department that I applied to and that I wouldn't want to work there. She's probably right. It just sucks though.

Anyway, I'm not giving up. I have to believe there is something good out there for me, even if it is outside the state of Washington.

Putting Yourself First

No change this week. Ugh, so frustrating!! We talked about putting yourself first in my Weight Watchers meeting. I really need to work on that, even though I know how important it is to take care of myself, I end up putting other people's needs (i.e. family) before mine. I have to keep reminding myself that by becoming healthier, more physically fit and less fat, I am making myself better, not only for me, but for my family too. It is such a hard lesson to learn.

Geez....Is it 1965?

I know this isn't about weight loss, but I read this I was like WTF?? Seriously? I thought today was October 16, 2009, not 1965. If you can't tell by the pictures below, my hubbie is White/Caucasian and I am Black/African-American. We have been married 8 years, but together 10. We have a 4-year-old daughter. Supposedly, the Justice of the Peace concern was for the children? Yeah, right. For some reason, I don't believe that.

Okay....I've vented!

Falling Off

When you are trying to lose weight, in the beginning, you just want the weight to just fall on off your body. However, as time goes on, you notice that it doesn't work that way. Weight loss is a process, sometimes an extremely slow process of taking one step forward, two steps back. It is discouraging for those who want an instant fix and to see instant results from their efforts. However, I'm in it for the long haul so any little bit of weight loss, no matter how small, feels so dang good.

This morning at my Weight Watchers meeting, I lost 1.4 lbs. I am 1 lb away from my lowest of 237.8, but that is okay. I fought to get into the 230's that it seems I'm here to stay, but getting to the 220s may take awhile. I'm okay with that though. :-)

Blog Love!

The lovely TJ over at TJ's Kitchen gave me this blog award, which is awesome! Thanks TJ!!

As with any blog award, there are some rules that apply, which are listed below.

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RULES:

1. Thank the person who nominated me for this award. (Check)

2. Copy the award and place it on my blog. (Check)

3. Link to the person who nominated me for this award. (Check)

4. Name 6 things that people might find interesting. (See below)

5. Nominate 7 Bloggers (See below)

6. Post links to the 7 blogs I nominate. (Got it!)

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

Like TJ, I'm not following number 7. If you come here and see your blog listed and want to accept your award that's great and if you don't that's fine too. No pressure! :-)

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Okay, six things about me:

1) I grew up in a really small town, with a population of 510 people. Moving to the big city was an eye opening experience. I don't think I can ever go back to living in a such a small town.

2) I was vegetarian for 5 years (lacto-ovo to be precise). I sometimes wonder if I should try doing it again. It is such a huge commitment.

3) I have huge feet. I wear a size 11 shoe. Along with clothes shopping, shoe shopping is always a pain.

4) I like to scrapbook. It is such a fun and creative way to preserve pictures and journal about special moments.

5) I've been married 8 years, but together 10 years. We met online via Yahoo and it wasn't love at first sight (for me that is, he said it was for him). He grew on me and we've been together since. :-)

6) I really love to dance. My daughter has inherited my "shake the bootie" gene. I'm scared, very scared!!

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Blogs that I want to pass this award to:

Kate @ Fabulous at 50

Lisa @ In Over My Head

Joania @ Joania's Weightloss Journey

Kenz @ All the Weigh

Resident Diva @ The Chronicles of a Chubby Bridesmaid

Angela @ Fantastic Voyage

Sarah @ The Weight It Is

Establishing Concrete Goals

I watched The Biggest Loser (TBL) last night and there was a very interesting challenge. The kitchen was locked down the entire week and everyone had to order out for all their meals. For those who eat out a lot and are trying to be conscious of portion sizes and what's in the food (fat, fiber, etc., etc.), and also trying to lose weight, you know that its tough to eat out.

During my Weight Watchers meeting a couple of weeks ago, we talked about eating out and how to "control" portions and making better choices from what is available on a menu. If you are like me and are getting healthy and making life changes in regards to food and exercise, you have to learn to incorporate eating out or attending dinner parties as part of your life. I don't think I can go the rest of my life and not eat at a restaurant, a friends house, or a Christmas party ever again. Can you? Yeah, didn't think so! :-)

One thing that stuck with me last night from TBL was Jillian telling the group that they needed to establish concrete goals to be successful at weight loss and maintenance. It's nice to say, "I want to wear smaller clothes", or "I want to be more than a pretty face", or even "I want to be healthy", because those are all great goals, but they are not concrete. The goals have to be something that will help you keep the weight off.

For me, my ultimate concrete goal is to get off and keep off the medication I've been taking to regulate my blood pressure. I hate it! I don't like to take it and once I'm off it, I never want to have to take it again.

Another goal, and I mentioned it before, is that I want to be a runner. I want to run 5ks, 10ks, half and full marathons. I love the way running feels. I don't know if that makes sense? It feels so good, even though I'm sweating and my lungs are burning, but after I'm done I feel euphoric. Exercise gives me a high that chocolate cake or a bag of chips used to give me. I don't want to go back there again. Instead of focusing on a clothing size or scale number, I'm more concerned with having a better functioning body.

Over the Top Award! Seriously?? :-)

I got an award today from Amazon Runner! Thank you for the awesome award! Go check out her blog. She is doing so great in her weight loss/healthy life journey. It's inspirational!

As with any blog award, there are some steps that I need to complete. One, I need to pass this on to 6 blogs that I love and two, post one word answers to the 35 questions below.

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse

2. Your hair? Kinky

3. Your mother? Alive

4. Your father? Alive

5. Your favorite food? Apples

6. Your dream last night? Nothing

7. Your favorite drink? Cocoa

8. Your dream/goal? Marathon

9. What room are you in? Family room

10. Your hobby? Scrapbooking

11. Your fear? Sickness

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Healthy

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Greedy

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Elliptical

17. Where did you grow up? West Virginia

18. Last thing you did? Email

19. What are you wearing? Jeans

20. Your TV? Old

21. Your pets? Cat

22. Friends? Important

23. Your life? Changing

24. Your mood? Stressed

25. Missing someone? Auntie

26. Vehicle? Honda

27. Something you’re not wearing? Perfume

28. Your favorite store? Whole Foods

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? 10 minutes ago.

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend? Shannon

33. One place that I go to over and over? Hawaii

34. One person who emails me regularly? Dawn

35. Favorite place to eat? Kingfish Cafe

The 6 blogs that I am passing the award to are:

Lyn @ Escape from Obesity

TJ @ TJs Test Kitchen

Sarah @ Operation Size 8

Jen @Prior Fat Girl

Spunkysuzi @ Spunkysuzi: Working towards a healthier me

Hallie @ For Real This Time

So, please right-click on the picture above and get your award. Please pass the awards on to 6 of your favorite blogs too. Remember to keep the answer to one word, unless it requires additional words to make it clear.

You are all doing so awesome! I love reading your blogs and look forward to many, many more posts! :-)

HYC Update

I wanted to get up early, before the kid, and get some treadmill action in. Because I had trouble sleeping last night, I didn't do as planned this morning. This evening, when the hubby is home, I will get in some exercise. I'm determined. I am beginning to notice that when I don't do any activity, the next day I don't feel all that great.

Today, I have a meeting with a staffing agency. I had one yesterday too, so we shall see if either of them can find me some work. I have signed up with these and other agencies months ago, but because they haven't had jobs, they haven't been calling, until last week. I hope that is a good sign. Please let it be!!

Eating wise, this morning my tummy is full a butterflies, so I had some toast and coffee. Not sure why its acting up? Meeting with the agency? Worry about money? Probably a combo of stress and not sleeping. Right now, weight loss is the last thing on my mind. Even though I am on plan, I'm just taking it a day at a time. I don't care right now what the scale says. There are other numbers more important, i.e. the number in our bank account and the amount these agencies want to pay per hour for work (which is more than what they were willing to pay when I first became unemployed). I've gotta keep the faith.

Losing weight, losing friendships

I have a friend, who like me is overweight. Lets call her Abby. Abby decided several years ago to forgo dieting and weight loss, and just accept being overweight, i.e. fat acceptance. She seems happy with her decision and I have been very supportive of her. She is smart, funny, out-going, active, travels, and loves life. She is my friend, I love her and I want her to be happy.

So, what's the problem? I began to notice some months back that my decision to lose weight has caused some friction, for lack of a better word. I don't bring up my weight loss or talk about it with her, but of course she has noticed the change in my body, its kind of obvious. I remember when I got around 300 lbs, she told me how great I looked and that I didn't need to lose any more weight. I didn't feel good at 300lbs and I told her that I had a goal weight in mind, but never mentioned what it was or how much more I wanted to lose. I thanked her because 70+lbs is no small feat and I did look better, but physically I still felt like crap. Other things were said, stuff I don't want to get into, but since then I knew not to bring up my weight loss with her.

Flash forward a year later, after several off-hand comments throughout the year about how "I would gain my weight back" or about how "95% of people who lose gain back their weight plus some" or that she didn't understand why I am "still trying to lose weight" but that I should "focus on accepting myself". I totally don't mind focusing on accepting myself or working on making myself a better person, but why can't I continue to lose weight in the process? According to her, "if I accepted myself, I wouldn't need or want to lose weight." I believe that I can continue to lose weight, but learn to love and accept myself - even better than before. She thinks I'm "delusional".

Today, I was talking with another friend, lets call her Betty, about the situation and some of the comments made by Abby. Betty knows Abby, but doesn't "know" her. Betty thinks that I should cut Abby lose, because I don't need the negativity. Betty's theory is that because I'm not the "biggest" in our group of friends/acquaintances anymore, that Abby is having issues with it. I don't think that is the reason, but I'm not sure. Abby has also commented on my weight loss to other friends and not in a positive way. Others have called her on negativity, but hearing about it makes me sad. I told Betty I didn't want to hear about the comments anymore.

I have heard and read about people who lose friendships because one friend loses a significant amount of weight and the dynamics of that friendship changes. I just never thought it would be an issue in my life, but now I'm all weirded out by the whole thing. I'm not sure what I should do or if I should do anything?

Watch out! I might make you fat!

The New England Journal of Medicine came out with a study that says that hanging out with fat people, might make you fat. Yeah, crazy huh! You can read about it here. Of course, the study is more technical than just hanging with fatties will cause your thighs to get larger. The study doesn't mention that it is important that people take personal responsibility of one's expanding waistline. It seems there is always someone else to blame. According to the study, it is other fat people.

The gist of the study is that we learn habits. We pick up good or bad habits from people we are close to, i.e. bad eating habits from fat people or good eating habits from skinny people. I think it is a load of horse pucky!

Yummers!

I had my first Chobani yogurt this morning. It's expensive ($1.49), but I loved it. I only bought one, just in case I didn't like it. I tried other Greek yogurts and I didn't like them, so I was skeptical. I thought I would try Chobani because it keeps getting great reviews across the blogsphere. It is only 2 Weight Watchers points and it has 16 grams of protein.

It was good and if I have any more cha-ching to spare, I may get another.

Late Night - Things you find on TV

Ugh! I cannot sleep and I wanted a snack because I ate early today and was craving something (thanks TOM). The old me would have opened up a bag of chips and eaten half or all the bag. The new me had a large glass of water and a handful of some dry roasted edamame. I'm also watching Discovery Health and the show "Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic" is on. Why am I watching this, you say? Its a reminder. I could have been one of those people. It is a reminder of where I've been and how far I've come.

One woman on the show is around 370'ish pounds (where I used to be). She is addicted to food and is seeking GBP surgery, but her doctor won't do it because she hasn't "learned" to eat. So, she is going back to Brookhaven to "learn" to eat, so that she can get the okay for the surgery. Well, she is in Brookhaven, but continues to binge eat on pizza and other fast food. Why this hosptial allows food like that to be brought in is beyond me. Its like a drug addict in a rehab center, but still having access to drugs. It kind of makes me angry, because it seems she isn't really trying. She is holding up a spot that could be given to another person who needs and wants to be there. Someone who will actual listen to the doctors and take the steps to fight their obesity.

Anyway, this show is reminding me of where I could have gone, but I made the choice to stop the damage I was doing to my body. I'm so thankful I did. I just continue to take it one day at a time.

What I did today?

Weight Watchers Points used: 29
Activity Points Earned:
3 APs for 8600 steps on pedometor (we did a walk around a lake near our house)
3 APs for 35 minutes on treadmill


* I thought it would be good to post to the blog what I'm doing for activity during the week. Not only for me, but also to give folks an idea on what I'm doing.

Dang, its been awhile!

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. It has been crazy lately, but I know that isn't an excuse. I had weigh in yesterday and gained 2.4 lbs. I know it was because TOM stopped by for a visit, so the gain wasn't a surprise. I have been feeling sort of in a funk lately too and I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days. Hopefully, I will be my old self again.

This past week, I was also contacted about 3 jobs. One of the jobs is in Texas. I was surprised to get a call out of the blue for a possible position that may lead to relocation (they'll pay everything for the move). I'm open to it. We shall see how it goes, but I'm to the point if the pay is good, I'll take it. The hubby and I will have to have some serious discussions, but I am ready for a change, some sort of change.

Nothing else exciting is going on in my life. Just chugging along at the weight loss, spending time with the kid, job hunting, and trying to eat well. I have good days, and not so good days. I think that it is depressions setting in, because of all the job stuff and the stress it is causing. I just have to keep saying to myself, I can handle it. I won't be given more than I can bear.

Fall is about change and at this time in my life, change may be good. Maybe with the leaves changing, new doors will open for me.