Why do I keep it up?

I made sure to exercise today and yesterday, because who knows what the week will bring. I plan to go to the gym at least 3 days this week to do some weights and cardio, which is the least I can do. The new me wants to work out. I love to sweat! I even like the sore feeling that I get after I lift weights. It feels good! Learning to love exercise has helped me with my journey.

This is the old me. I look at her and realize that she was very unhappy and unhealthy, eating her emotions and not caring. Food was my drug of choice. I look back and am both saddened and angry that I did that to myself. I allowed it to happen. I can make a ton of excuses as to how and why I weighed 370+lbs, but I have no one to blame but me.

The new me loves to exercise and eat healthy. She loves to hike, jog on the treadmill and curl dumbbells. She loves to make healthy meals for her family. She has a long way to go, but she has come so far and isn't afraid to keep going.

In a year, the plan is to reach my weight loss goal weight of 175lbs. That would be over half of my former self. Its exciting and scary, because I haven't been 175lbs since Jr. High. I'm not sure what to expect. It will be all new territory for me, but I'm ready! So, 62 lbs to go!

Weighing In

I had my weigh in at Weight Watchers this morning.  I gained 3.4lbs, which I sort of expected because TOMs in and Turkey Day.  I did good on Turkey Day, but Friday I was and still am bloated.  Oh well, at least I expected it.  I kind of know my body by now and what it does.  I don’t freak out when I see a multi-poundage gain.

Work is busy and I’m trying to get back into the swing of things.  I can’t access the internet from work for personal stuff, so no blogging or even online journaling at Weight Watchers for me.  I’m old school now with journaling on paper, carrying my journal in my handbag.  I input everything once I get home, then I try to get in some activity (gym, video or treadmill) because I’ve been sitting at a desk all week long.

Nothing else exciting is going on.  I know…boring huh?  Hopefully something exciting will happen! :-)  Okay, off to put up Christmas decorations.

My 1st Day

I only worked 6 hours today, so why do I feel so whipped?   I was doing more at home, but maybe it is because I was sitting at a desk all day that I feel wiped out?

My first day was okay.  I was introduced to tons of people and I probably won't remember names tomorrow.  I'm so bad with names.  I just need a few days to get myself into my new routine and put names with faces.  Hopefully my body will get used to work again too.

Right now, I'm trying to talk myself into going to gym or  the treadmill.  I don’t want to get into the situation where I come home and don’t do any activity.  I don’t want to be that person again.  So, I will do something!  I’m so not a morning person, so I know waking up at 5 AM isn’t going to work for me.

Happy Birthday Blog!!

Today, it has been a year since I started my blog with this post.    It was a good decision to start blogging and it has really helped in my weight loss.  I hope to continue blogging on into the future as I meet my weight loss goals and on into maintenance and whatever else happens in life. 

Also, a special thanks to those who read my blog!  I cannot believe I have 93 followers!  That’s so awesome!!  You all make it worthwhile! 

Gym Culture and Other Musings

First things first, I’m so nervous about starting my new job tomorrow.  I’m excited but I’m nervous.  For me, it is like the 1st day of school but I know that it will be fine.  I just want to do my best!  Be a SUPERSTAR!!  Haa!  Haa!!  I’m going to have to ride the bus into downtown Seattle too, because parking cost body parts and I don’t have any to spare. I also don’t want to deal with traffic, so bus riding it will be!

I worked out today, putting in 30 minutes of weights and 40 minutes of cardio. It is fun being in the gym on a Sunday morning because of the variety of people. You have the older folks taking strolls on the treadmills. The ballers in the basketball area playing a game. You have the same muscle men in the weight room that are there every time I'm working out (I swear they live there). You have the make-up girls on the elliptical machines. Why they have make-up on, I have no idea? However, they aren't sweating, so I guess its not a problem for them. There’s just a variety of people in the gym, all there to have more activity in their lives, which is a good thing. 

After my workout I tried a bottle of Designer Whey Protein Water. They have several flavors, but the one I had was Blue Raspberry. Janine from Designer Whey sent me a box of product to try.

I use the Biggest Loser Protein for my fruit smoothies, so I was willing to try their other products. (FYI: Designer Whey did not pay me to review their product and they didn't request that I blog about it.) The Protein Water is really good. It was just what I needed after my workout. It has some sodium (25 mg) but it doesn't have that salty sports drink taste that I hate.  My husband likes to make smoothies too, so he can experiment.  Oh boy!  He actually makes pretty good concoctions.

(This is the Pomegranate Fruit one, because I drank the Blue Raspberry at the gym and didn’t take a photo. Oops!)

Now we are watching the news.  We’ve had so much rain its crazy!  Poor Forks, WA (for all you Twilight and New Moon fans) has had over 2.5 inches of rain just today.  Supposedly it is dying down, but it is typical NW weather.  I’ll make sure to carry my umbrella tomorrow. 

The Weights Are Working!

Had weigh in today and lost 5.2 lbs which is great, 233 lbs @ Weight Watchers and 230.8 lbs @ home this morning. Slow and steady, and it seems that I broke the plateau with the strength/resistance training I incorporated into my program recently. If I had known, I would have done it from the beginning, but I am happy that I'm educating myself more about exercise and nutrition.

I'm nervous about next week though, because I start my new job. I don't know what my schedule is going to be like, but I don't want to slack from the gym. I need to remember to put me first and make the gym a priority. I can do cardio at home, but I really want to get in at least 3 days of strength training. For snacks and lunch, I can pack healthy stuff. I'm nervous about starting in the workforce again, but again thankful that I was able to find a job finally!

Today is pool day for the family at the gym. Since they reopened the pool, I want to get into the habit of pool time at least once a week.

Cravings

I finally realized today that my cravings are for the salty, carbs and not sweets. I never knew that before, because I was overeating and therefore couldn't tell what exactly it was that I wanted. Now,a year and a half later, I realize that I want salty stuff, chips, corn chips, popcorn, etc. when I I start craving. All the salt isn't good for my blood pressure, so I have been working on healthy alternatives or not giving into it.

I came to the realization yesterday. I walked into Target and smelled the popcorn! It set me off, because I wanted it. I knew it was all crispy, oily, and salty and I would probably devour the entire bag. So, I walked by the food court area and kept on walking, but I kept "jonesing" for the popcorn in the store! It was crazy!

I got what I went in for and got back to my car. When I came home I made a bag of 100 calorie Jollytime popcorn, but I know I have to get a handle on the situation. I can't avoid shopping at Target. That would be ridiculous! Yeah, even though I have lost over 130lbs, I still have issues! However, the popcorn will not win!! :-) Take that Target popcorn!!

Weights and Weight Loss

I knew I needed to spice up my weight loss program and have decided to throw some weight training into my routine. I think that it is a great idea, but it is interesting to hear from women friends and read online about the "myths" women have about weight training. There are women who believe that "weight training" will make them bulky or "manly looking", but because women don't produce testosterone like men. My friend said she wouldn't want "man arms," but I would rather have those then the bat wings I'm sporting, but I guess it is all about perspective.

For me, because of my excess skin and flab, I am more interested in developing lean muscle and increasing my muscle definition to physically look better naked. I know, TMI, but it is true! I also want to feel stronger. I want to be able to do a pull up! I would rather gain muscle mass to burn more calories, than continue to lose both muscle and fat from all the cardio I've been doing. So, bring on the dumbbells!

I came across some good articles on women and weight training which I think are helpful and give great encouragement. Since I've been stuck for 6 months and not really losing any more body fat, it has been suggested that I need to do more weight training and do HIIT for cardio to boost my metabolism and revive my weight loss efforts. I am willing to give it a try.

A blog entry by Amy Barnes titled "What Women Do Wrong" when trying to lose weight, I found encouraging and insightful and gives me something to think about.

Bloggers like Mistress Krista and MizFit give great advice to women on becoming more active and stepping out of their comfort zones. Before, I would never venture into the weight room in my gym. I thought it was "too scary." However, over the past two weeks, with the help and suggestions of my hubby and from exercises I found online, I said "suck it" I'm going in there. I'm so happy that I did. It isn't scary after all and actually, it was the best move that I made for myself since starting this journey.

Down! Yes!!

Yes! I am down 4 lbs, but still not at my lowest. I was the same weight last month, 238.2 today at my Weight Watchers weigh-in and 235.8 at home. Still not at the lowest I've been @ WWs which was 237.6 last month, but its fine. My weight has been doing the crazy flux for months, so I'm used to it.

I decided to try and eat 6 small meals during the day and I think that helped me. Since I've been getting more activity in, I knew that I probably wasn't eating enough, so I consumed all but 5 of my WPs. We shall see what next week brings and if it continues working. My goal is to get to 100 lbs lost before my Weight Watchers leader goes on maternity leave, so 13.2 lbs to go before the end of January, at least.

I also got two cookbooks today at my meeting. They were 50% off so I got 2 for $10. One is the new Comfort Classics 150 Favorites and the other is Hit the Spot. I think that WW may be coming out with some new cookbooks? Possibly?? My leader did mention that the new WW material would be coming out the beginning of December, so hopefully they will make the weigh in booklet a bit stronger. Mine it fell apart and is all taped up.

I went to the gym after my meeting and swam for an hour. It was a family affair and the kid enjoyed it a lot. I haven't been in a pool for years, because I always felt uncomfortable, but I have a new attitude now. :-) So, for those people who can't stand to look at the jiggle, don't look! My swimsuit is a bit big though, so I ordered a new one from Lands End on sale. It should come next week.

More good news is that I got a job! It is contract for 6 months, but it is a job and I couldn't turn it down. The pay is okay, not great, but better than unemployment. We shall see if it leads to a permanent position?? I start the 23rd!

Inspiration

I love inspiring weight loss stories, especially when they use exercise and food changes to accomplish their goal. I recently wrote about Julie who was on Rachel Ray. Lynn from Lynn's Weigh was recently on the Today's Show. I love her story!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I am also totally inspired by a woman who was recently featured on the Today's Show and Oxygen Magazine's "Off the Couch Issue". Her name is Amy Barnes and she went from almost 500 lbs to 150 lbs. She is now a personal trainer and owns her own business. Check her out!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Watching their stories reminds me that I can meet my goal!

The Biggest Loser & Product Placement

All the marketing for the Extra gum, BL Protein Powder or Subway during an episode of the Biggest Loser can be a bit much. However, there was one last night that I was surprised about and it was LARABARs. I do love me some LARABARs and like to keep them on hand for a quick snack. They are about 4 WW points (some are 5 WW points). What I really like is that they are made from simple natural ingredients.

Usually the items promoted for healthy eating and weight loss are so processed and include ingredients hard to pronounce. With LARABARs, its pretty straight forward.

I was recently sent four from LARABARs to try. My favorite if Peanut Butter & Jelly!! The ingredients are: Dates, Salt, Unsweetened Cherries, and Peanuts. My other favorite is Peanut Butter Cookie (you see the peanut theme here) and contains: Peanuts, Dates and Salt. That's it!! So awesome!!

Pump Up the Jam!!

I've really jumped on the activity band wagon and have incorporated weights into my workout. I've noticed that cardio is really not doing it for me anymore and decided that I needed to start weight training to see some results in my body. Although, the weight loss has occurred just from the cardio, I want some muscle definition and toning.

So, all this week I've been hitting the gym, doing 1/2 hour cardio and 1/2 hour weights for different muscles each day. Today was arms! Right now I can feel it, but tomorrow it's gonna hurt. I love it! Tomorrow is legs and Friday will be cardio.

I would love a personal trainer, but it isn't in my budget. Oh well, I have been reading online and getting pointers from other blogs and sites about what exercises I can do at home with free weights and what I can do at the gym with the machines and weights. The poor woman's personal training. :-)

I just got back from a shopping spree at Trader Joe's. I got a ton of food, mostly frozen meat, seafood, and veggies that will last us for a couple weeks.

Okay, off to do some laundry. It's never ending!

I had to share!

I woke up this morning feeling like I was ran over by a bus, several times. Not sure why! I hope I'm not coming down with something. Ugh!

I got in 40 minutes on the treadmill yesterday and I jogged for a mile!! Yes, you read that correctly....A mile...without stopping!! That is freaking huge for me. I guess you can say that it is a NSV!! Whooo! Hooo!! Just had to share! But after that mile, I stopped and walked for the rest of the 40 minutes. I guess I did that mile in 15 minutes, which isn't fast but I don't care!! LOL!!!

I'm also loving Motion Traxx. It may not be for a lot of folks, because the music is techno/house/dance, but the beats are great for not only running, but cardio machines too. The podcasts are free. I love free.

Weigh in & Preparing for the Holidays

"Preparing for the Holidays" was the theme of my Weight Watchers meeting today. During the holidays, people tend to let go and eat things that they wouldn't normally eat all year or have a tendency to eat in excess. Usually the choices aren't healthy choices. In the past, I was definitely one of those people who would gain 10 pounds or more during the holiday season, because I shut off my filter (i.e. brain) and it (i.e. food), went into my mouth (i.e. pie hole literally).

Now that I have become more aware and conscious of my eating, my triggers, and my emotions, I have better control. However, that doesn't mean that I still don't have my issues with food, triggers or emotions. I have come to terms that I will definitely be working on this until that day I die. Anyway, we talked about things we can do to become more "in control" during the holiday season. Here are some things people came up with:

(1) Eat before going to a party. This is good sound advice, because previously I would hold off on eating until I got to the function and became a vacuum. Yeah, it was bad. Really, really bad.

(2) Tracking, tracking, tracking. It is important to keep track of what you put in your mouth. Keeping a food journal is important to know how many calories/points you are eating each day.

(3) Move. Activity is very important in general. Not only for weight loss, but for health. Remember to get in activity over the holiday season, even if the weather is terrible - do it indoors. Just get up and move!

(4) "A pound not gained, is a pound lost." That is a quote from my WW leader today about the holiday season. It is so true too! She suggested that if it is too hard to lose, try maintenance over the next two months.

As for my weigh in, I lost 3 lbs this week. Up and down, that is the way it has been for me lately, but I rather be going down. We shall see what next week brings. A woman in my meeting today has lost a total of 127 lbs on WW. That is a huge accomplishment!! We were all so excited for her!

I'm trying to get to my 100 lbs lost at WW before my leader goes on maternity leave in February. She has been with me from the start and I want to share that with her! That means that I have to lose 15 lbs! It's doable, but I've been so disappointed with my progress lately, but I have a goal to focus on and my focus is on losing through the holidays. I cannot let it get me down! I can do it! (chanting..."I can do it! I can do it!") So, this week, I'm going to keep tracking, keep up the activity, and kick some weight loss butt this week. Wish me luck!

Thinking in Bullets

• I'm really tired today. It's better if I do this bullet style.
• I hate that it is so dark before 5 PM.
• I have done some form of exercise each day this week. Today and yesterday, I spent over a hour the gym. Maybe that is why I'm tired?
• We have had each meal this week at home. Tonight I made a Veggie & Pork Stir Fry. It saves money.
• I saw a personal trainer at the gym today and I was so envious of her body. She was tall and muscular, and not skinny. She looked healthy and she glowed. I really want to look like that. Something to work towards.
• I'm happy Tracy is gone from The Biggest Loser.
• I really love Jillian and Bob!
• I am loving The Last 10 Pounds with Tommy Europe. I have to watch the show I DVR'ed on Saturday.
• I listened to Two Fit Chicks & a Microphone on my Ipod as I pedaled away on the stationary bike. Mizfit and Dietgirl Rock!!

November 1st: Sunday Hike

The family and I went for a hike today. It was for about 2 hours and what was great is that the little one didn't complain! That is an accomplishment! :-)









Afterwards, I came home to make Beer Can Chicken, baked sweet potatoes and roasted brussels sprouts! Looking forward to a yummy dinner!

Getting in Gear

The holiday season tends to be rough for me, with all the parties, family functions where food is abundant. However, like last year, I take it all in stride. I don't beat myself up or deny myself something if I want to have it. It is all about controlling my portions, but also wanting the food I eat to be good, not only for my health but taste too.

As my leader (who cracks me up by the way)at my Weight Watchers meeting said, be a food snob and don't feel bad about being one. Don't feel obligated to eat something someone brought to a potluck or family function if it taste like crap! She said that the person should be ashamed to bring their crappy food to any function and why should we waste calories and points on food that taste gross!

That is the truth! How many times have you eaten something a family member or friend brought to a party that tasted yuck, but you continued to eat it because you didn't want to hurt their feelings? Well, no more for me!!! By the end of the year, I want a smaller ass, and I will not get that way by eating creamy salads and buttered up (until you see the grease sliding and pooling)dishes made by others because I feel obligated. It is ridiculous for me to feel that way anyway. This is my body dang it!

So, I am challenging myself to lose 10 pounds over the holiday. I'm putting it out there in the cosmos, because I'm sick of being stuck! I want to get out of my rut and have a 10 pound smaller rump come January 1st!