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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Weigh-in & “Crabbiness”

OMG!  I have been in such a bad mood!  I am frustrated and tired.  I think part is hormones, but part is just frustration with my weight loss, or lack of weight loss.  I have to not try and compare myself to others, but over the past couple of days, it has really effected me.  I didn’t know why, until I saw that December 1st is when I had set to reach my “goal weight” over a year ago. 

It was a goal that I kept to myself.  I jotted it down in my Moleskine Daily Planner.  I saw it on Friday and was bummed out.  I still haven’t recovered.  At weigh-in, I saw a .8lb gain.  I expected a gain and was happy that it was only .8, but it didn’t help me get out of the funk I’ve been rolling around in for days. 

I didn’t run or walk the Seattle Marathon today.  I actually broke down and started crying when I saw the marathon coverage on the news this morning. My friend, who was going to do it with me, decided not to a couple of months ago.  I was going to walk it and wanted her to walk the 1/2 marathon with me, but she didn’t want to, saying that it would be a step back for her.  I totally understood where she was coming from, but then I lost the ambition to do anything physical.  Maybe I’m burned out or need to do something different?  I love the feeling after exercise, but it’s the doing the activity or getting the time, has become the problem.

I came to the realization (Aaah! Haaa! moment) as to why I haven’t been working out like I used to.  My husband (God bless him), made a comment several months ago that I was being “selfish” by wanting to go to the gym to work out and not spending time at home with him and our daughter.   I was taken aback.  It shocked me because he never mentioned it before.

He had always been supportive, but as I’ve gotten smaller, lost more weight, the negative comments have increased; with the crap food coming into the house more and more. Add that, with the crap weather, and I feel like crap.  He also recently stated that he didn’t know why I continue to pay the $40 a month for Weight Watchers, when I’m not losing weight. 

I told him it was my money and right now, it is the only support system I have.  I cannot give that up!  Having a support system (in whatever form) is one of the type reasons that people succeed in weight loss and keep the weight off.  I’m not sure what the hell his problem is, but I cannot continue making it my problem.  This is my journey.  Hell, it may be “selfish” but he will just have to deal!! 

That felt good to get off my chest! 

Friday, November 26, 2010

Coming Out of a Turkey Coma

I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving yesterday!  I made a really great Pumpkin Chiffon Pie that was 3 points per slice (8 servings per pie).  It was really good and everyone loved it.  It was like a pumpkin pudding pie.  Yum!

Today, I'm trying to decide if I want to venture out in the crazy-shopping-hysterics of Black Friday, or just hang at home.  The snow is gone, so it is safe to venture out, without running the risk of getting hit by another car.  However, there is the risk of getting ran over by a shopping cart.  I don't know which is worse.

The husband went to work and I am at home with the daughter.  Petco is having a sell on cat food, and I probably will go there and stock up on food for Mojo.  I'm hoping that the pet store won't be as crazy as the shopping malls today.

********* Here is a picture of the turkey breast, that caused my coma.  It was dang good! *********

Monday, November 22, 2010

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It is cold her in the PNW and all I want to do is hibernate.  It is in the low 20's, snowing and icy.  Traffic was a pain in the behind, but I made it home safely. I don't know if I will make it in to work early tomorrow, but I may try and get in later after it starts to heat up a little.  However, it all depends on if the little one has school.

Our satellite television keeps cutting in and out.  The wind is blowing hard and I just got a text from a co-worker that she can't make it home and is thinking about turning around to go back to work!! Horrible!

My eating has been good, but my exercise has been blah. Yeah, I really need to change that.  Okay, off to sit near the fire place and drink some sugar-free cocoa.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Weigh in -- November 20, 2010

I went to Weight Watchers and I'm down 2lbs today!  My leader weighed me in and she has also watched the up, down, up, down of my weight going on for the past 6 months.  She said that it is great that I have toughed it out, because usually people give up and never come back. I am living these days anyway, so there is no need for me to "give up" and stop going to meetings. Those meetings help to keep me grounded. 

My leader also collected my height and age today, so that she can calculate my points for the new PointsPlus program starting in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to the change. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Catching up…

I’m here.  I’m cold and tired. My weight has fluctuated all week…up 5 lbs, down 6lbs.  It is interesting what the body does in a 24 hour period (or maybe it is just my bod?).  I have another phone interview tomorrow.  I’m excited and nervous.  Wish me luck!

No jury duty this week.  I think that a plea was made, which works for me.  I was not looking forward to missing two days of work unpaid. 

Eating is good.  I ate out with my co-workers on Tuesday.  The food was good, but I’m always up in the scale the next day.  I know it happens, so I wasn’t too surprised to see the 5lb gain the next day.  This morning, it was gone, with an additional pound. 

I think I’m going to bed early tonight.  I have parent-teacher conference tomorrow, and then my phone interview.  Good night!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Excited About the Change Coming

I am excited about the Weight Watchers changes coming in a couple of weeks.  I had a great discussion with my leader about my “issue” of not losing.  Although, she didn’t give me details (they all have signed confidentiality agreements), she said that she thinks the new WW plan may be what I need to jumpstart my weight-loss again.  I really hope so!  I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

I have a crazy, busy week!  I have jury duty on Wednesday and Thursday…and another phone interview on Friday!!  I’m not sure how many of those I’ll have, or if/when I’ll have an in-person interview.  I am praying that this all works out!!  This job will be an awesome opportunity for me, but also for my family.

I went to the gym today.  I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and 15 minutes on the “stair-climber to nowhere!”  That machine kicks my butt! Afterwards, I realized how much exercise energizes me! OMG!  I feel fabulous!   Now, I just have to remember that feeling, so that I keep going regularly.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wanting and Doing

I have had a pretty busy week.  Yesterday, I had a phone interview for over an hour for a job that I really, really, really want.  Fingers and toes are crossed!  I am hoping that they will at least want to see me in person.  I'm having more bad days then good days at my current job, so I'm hoping and praying for a change.

A good thing is that I have tomorrow off from work to spend with my daughter.  She is excited about it. It's Veteran's Day, so  no school for her.  We are going to spend the day hanging out and getting a pedicure.  My toes are horrid looking right now.

I didn't blog an update on my weight this weekend.  There is no change, so I felt like there isn't anything to update.  I got really down about it after weigh-in on Saturday.  I'm still kind of bummed out by the whole thing.  I'm eating healthy and I feel good physically.  I have really been slack on the exercise though.  I've been like that since the weather has gotten colder, where I just want to hibernate.  It's so, so bad.  I know that is why there hasn't been any progress on my weight.  It also helps with my stress, and can probably help get rid of a lot of my stress, especially now.

So, now I sit back and wait to see what happens on the job interview front.  I hope to hear soon, but these things can take a long, long time.  Ugh! I hate job hunting!

I want the new job and I want to reach my goal weight.  What do I plan to do to get those things?  With the job, it is out of my hands right now; however, my weight is not.  It is something that I can actually wrangle and get a handle on making the scale move in a downward progression, instead of a standstill.  I just need to do it.